The Festinger Gazette
Welcome to The Festinger Gazette! Your #1 source for totally authentic news!
In this, our inaugural article, we'd like to announce that our staff writer, Jackovan, is handsome, thin, and smells nice. That is all. Oh! Don't forget funny, and witty. And he responds well to treats.
(Yes, that is exactly the type of high quality reporting you can expect from us in future.)

UPDATE: Jack also has a full head of thick, luscious hair. Did we mention he responds well to compliments and treats?